|| Lost In A Labyrinth ||

2009-08-26T15:50:00.002+08:00

SHIFTED! :D

http://shalynn.onsugar.com/

2009-08-24T23:58:00.005+08:00

Ah, all that are happening seem pretty overwhelming. I think I'm lack of sleep. Feel cranky once in a while. zzz. School's mostly fun and nice. And I kinda got back the feeling that I should have had since last year. Never too late yeah? :)

Life's so unpredictable, I wonder what is going to happen tomorrow.

*chasing*

2009-08-18T23:59:00.001+08:00

It's 18th August today.

♥ Happy 2nd Anniversary ♥

Hugs and Kisses :)

2009-08-17T21:57:00.005+08:00

This is good :)

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The 8 Monkeys

(This is reportedly based on an actual experiment conducted in the U.K.)

Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling.

Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable. Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.

One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys are doing the obvious. But undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the ladder.

All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why.

However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder.

A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him.

This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he's not on the receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are doing it. However, he has no idea why he's attacking the new monkey.

One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced. Eight new monkeys are now in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water. None of them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why.

And that is how most companies' policies get established.

2009-08-15T02:10:00.011+08:00

Therapy

2009-08-15T00:46:00.001+08:00

grrrrrrrrr.

SO hate it! SO hate myself for feeling this way :(

-i need a space shuttle-

2009-08-13T23:46:00.006+08:00

Wow. Crazy week. And even crazier day.

It’s been a short school week, but pretty enjoyable. It’s refreshing to return to school once again. See familiar faces, familiar places, familiar feeling. Being in between doesn’t feel as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, it feels fine. Expanding your social group and making friends all over again. Haha. Lucky I’ve got people I know in most of my courses :) But.. still can’t really say it’s a blessing in disguise. Not quite there yet.

Today was madness.

12.30pm to 2.30pm Biz Law lecture -> went home -> dinner -> back to school -> hall 8 -> UMC meeting -> Canteen 2 supper and continuation of meeting -> home.

It’s a really long day. Meeting was great. It’s been what, 9 months? I was overwhelmed by emotions, memories and so much more here and there through the course of meeting. Truly miss climbing. Wonder if I’ll ever climb again ever. You reckon?

Last year, I was thinking if I should join MJ or UMC. Chose UMC in the end but I’ve never regretted it. It kinda rekindled my passion for climbing since JC. Amazing feeling – to know how much you actually enjoy doing something. You’re willing to put in so much time – trainings in school till late without a hall. You’re willing to put in so much effort – I wanted my 4 pull-ups back and I really had the motivation to go further and better.

As much as they all seemed like yesterday only, I feel pretty distant from them.

Wow, I sound damn emo right? Haha. I’m fine. It’s more like happy reminiscing rather than wallowing in self-pity. They were all great memories :)

Wonder how this year’s recruitment, welcome climb and AGM will be. Soon, I’ll be handing over the position of Hon Gen Secretary. Haha. The position of Publicity & Publication is pretty tempting though. Heh. But I don’t climb now and it seems quite ridiculous to run for exco.

Tsk. I’m supposed to be a nerd.

Friday off for this week :) Have a great weekend.

2009-08-11T00:05:00.002+08:00

Oh My Gosh!

Dreading SCHOOL!!!!

0830hr LECTURE! 0600hr alarm clock!! Many many many people at Boon Lay Interchange!!!

*SCREAMS*

2009-08-07T12:53:00.011+08:00

Stayover & Sentosa! :)

Fixed this puzzle on Wednesday night with Li Yong. 204 pieces and the pieces are REALLY mini. The end product can only fit a 4R picture frame of 10cm by 15cm. I miss fixing puzzles :) But I can't find anywhere else to hang my puzzles anymore if I decide to make more big ones.

Sentosa yesterday! Si Lin was supposed to be at her camp but she was psycho-ed by Li Yong and me to go sentosa with us. And she even got herself a bikini at the very last minute. haha. So proud of you babe. HEH. The sun, sea, sand, lotion and company. Really had a good time :)

After sentosa, the 3 of us went to catch our FIRST ever movie together! hahah. Like super unbelievable that we haven't watched a movie together in 7 years! And I wonder what we usually do when we meet up. haha. Caught "The Hangover". Pretty funny show despite it being quite brainless. Just watch it to get some laugh.

School's starting and I doubt the three of us will be able to meet up that often anymore! Si Lin, meet me on Saturday to study! I wanna be a nerd. haha. Don't always trap yourself in NUS and Bishan. Meet Li Yong and me for a meal or something when you have time :)

2009-08-03T13:40:00.002+08:00

Singapore Fireworks Celebration will be held in September/October this year! :) :)

Can't wait! :)

SO PRETTY!! x)

2009-08-02T15:30:00.005+08:00

They say seeing is believing. But if you can't see certain things, do you still believe in them? Memories, trust and love; things that are invisible. Why do people still believe that they exist?

Nonetheless, I think I'm still one of the believers.

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Oh My Gosh! I've got craving for 豆浆油条 since yesterday!! SUPER BAD CRAVING! Like I really want to eat it NOW! zzz. Maybe I'll go get it later. Cravings should always be satisfied :D haha.

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School's starting and I'm feeling really lethargic about it. Feel like taking the plane again :) I miss Hong Kong and Japan! Hong Kong especially. All the yummy food and endless shopping. :) :) Japan was great. But a little to pricey despite the nice experience. OH and I am pretty much looking forward to the opening of IR at Sentosa in 2010! Universal Studios! :) I hope there will be Spiderman! :D

ANYWAY, as I was saying.. going back to school. Dreading the traveling actually. But, no. Home to hall any time. I will miss my milk bottle :) and the toilet at home :) and my full length mirror :) and my puzzles :) hahah. Everything at home is just better. :)

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SING SONG, anybody?!!! Badly wanna go K. hahahah.

Have a pretty Sunday :)

2009-08-01T17:27:00.010+08:00

It felt like a dream. A really sweet dream. I wish the dream could last forever.

2009-07-28T00:02:00.004+08:00

she's staring at me i'm sitting wondering what she's thinking,
nobody's talking, cause talking just turns into screaming,
and now as im yellin' over her, she yellin' over me,
all that that means, is neither of us is listening,
and what's even worse is that we don't even remember why we're fighting.

so both of us are mad for, nothing
fighting for, nothing
crying for, nothing
but we wont let it go for, nothing
no not for, nothing
there should be, nothing
to a love like what we got,

oh baby i know sometimes its gonna rain,
but baby can we make up now cause i can't sleep through the pain.
girl i don't wanna go to bed, mad at you
and i don't want you to go to bed, mad at me
no i don't wanna go to bed, mad at you
and i don't want you to go to bed, mad at me.

and it gets me upset girl when you're constantly accusing,
asking questions like you already know
we're fighting this war, baby when both of us are losing
this ain't the way that love is supposed to go
what happened to workin' it out?
we fall into this place where
you ain't backin' down
and i ain't backin' down
so what the hell do we do now?

it's all for, nothing
fighting for, nothing
crying for, nothing
but we wont let it go for, nothing
no not for, nothing
there should be, nothing
to a love like what we got,

oh baby i know sometimes its gonna rain,
but baby can we make up now cause i can't sleep through the pain.
girl i don't wanna go to bed, mad at you
and i don't want you to go to bed, mad at me
no i don't wanna go to bed, mad at you
and i don't want you to go to bed, mad at me

oh baby, this love ain't gonna be perfect
and just how good its gonna be
we can fuss and we can fight
long as everything's all right between us
before we go to sleep
baby we're gonna be...

oh baby i know sometimes its gonna rain,
but baby can we make up now cause i can't sleep through the pain.
girl i don't wanna go to bed, mad at you
and i don't want you to go to bed, mad at me
no i don't wanna go to bed, mad at you
and i don't want you to go to bed, mad at me

2009-07-26T13:00:00.000+08:00

NBS FOC 09/10 was fun but tiring! I still feel super sleepy after so much rest. Got reminded about so many things of the past.

Hmmm... everyone falling sick. Stay healthy or get well soon, whichever applies to you! :) :)

Works of a potential kids colouring book arthur/artist. :)

By the way, did I mention that I get high on red bull? hahah.

Lazy weekend.

2009-07-19T23:54:00.001+08:00

OMG OMG!!!

Miss Selfridge Dresssssssssssssss!!!!!

hearts and love! <3 <3

Dilemma! ): ):

2009-07-18T22:45:00.002+08:00

Our emotions can be real bitches at times.

Tell me what you want. I really don't know, I can't read you.

2009-07-16T21:09:00.005+08:00

Remember me?

So many thoughts running through my mind now. Its the time of the year where events and happenings around you gets you thinking so much and so deeply. You try to relate yourself to those situations and your thoughts just go further and further..

I guess sometimes, we all come to a point in life where we feel tired; the tiredness may consume us. What follows next will be numbness; the numbness makes us immune to the pain and tiredness. Reality sets in when we realize that we need a solution instead of a pain tranquilizer; we focus, analyze, find the root of the problem and fix it.

Fixing may be hard, but eventually, we realize that it is possible. "Eventually" is subjective. The length of time in between may vary one one person to another depending on the constants - personalities, situations, circumstances. But like all equations, we eventually reach the correct answer. Instead of using trial and error, we use the formula. It may take us longer, but it guarantees us the answer, provided we do not make any careless mistakes in between.

Wow. Mathematics. Amazing. I wonder how I came up with all that. ahhhhh Crap. Sorry I just wasted 5-10minutes of your precious time reading my dumb, pointless and brainless entry. hahah.

2009-07-14T00:46:00.005+08:00

Time flies! It been like almost 7 months since my accident. Soon, I'll be back at school! Kinda dreading it. But.. oh well. I am SO gonna be a nerd! haha. Don't stop me :D

Went to Tan Tock Seng for my medical review today ever since I started walking in end March. The doctor said my ankle is fully healed! Woohoo~~ Damn good news to me! It means.. I can start wearing heels all over again! Wee~ Time to shop for heels. HAHA. Actually, I kinda know it already since I can even run now. Yeah.. Also, the doctor said I can have the metal pieces removed anytime from now if I want too. That's good news too. Cause I've always wanted them removed. haha. But now, gotta wait until December I guess. During holidays. Need like two weeks for the stitches to heal and all. I'm like a pro at such things now. Know how long it takes before the stitches can be removed and all.

PHEW. Looking back, it really seemed like a very very long journey. Extremely painful at times. I wonder if "a blessing in disguise" can ever be used to describe my situation, since I've never considered it to be a blessing in any way. BUT.. through it all, I sort of learned many things. Undeniable. For one, I am more resilient? And then there's also the part where I realised the value of true friends. Not forgetting how thankful I am to have a boyfriend who comes to visit me at least once every time he books out, regardless of how boring it is at my place. Lastly, but never the least, my family. I remembered how it was like when my brother was in Australia having summer exchange and I didn't want to break the news to him. And when I finally told him, I could really really feel his worries. It made me feel so touched. Thanks kor. :)

When life gives you lemon, make lemonade. Agree? haha. Make the best out of everything in life. I guess I know it best. Can't take anything for granted! Simple things like walking can be such a privilege. :)

To end my entry, BE HAPPY no matter where you are in life! :) Specially sent out to my two besties. :) :) I want you two to be happy k! Seeing you girls happy makes me feel happy too. It hurts when I have to see you two sad! *big hug* <3 <3 <3

2009-07-11T23:24:00.002+08:00

Caught the above movie this afternoon. UBER disturbing show. Hahah. I wonder why. Its just very disturbing to me. All the schemes and seduction and fighting. My gosh! Portrays how evil women can be! Seriously. Scary and disturbing. FREAKY. hahah.

And by the way, Beyoncé is DAMN hot! :D :D :D hahaha.

Sleepy weekend.

2009-07-10T22:33:00.002+08:00

Went for my virgin trip to Pulau Ubin today. haha. I know, to some, it's quite unbelievable. But yes, it's my first time to Pulau Ubin today in my whole close-to-20 years of life! :) And I went there not exactly for leisure but for work, though my work was quite like leisure. haha.

Helped out with an event company called OutdoorInAsia (OIA) today. They are actually a company which organizes Team Building Activities et cetera for groups. Today's group was a French Pharmaceutical Company called Sanofi Aventis. The company was filled with employees of diverse nationalities and races. Quite an eye opener. They have people from ten over countries, at least. So, there were stations and games organized for the purpose of team building and all. It was really heartwarming to see people from all over the world and from a wide range of age come to together and mingle happily. They all seemed so carefree then.

My jobscope was pretty simple. I was stationed at the HQ so my main job was to refill the cooler boxes and look after the belongings. I know, its quite slack. haha. But I helped to clear tables and all too! Quite tiring cause it was a whole day thing. Woke up at 5.15am this morning. zzz. Shag. Anyway, they pay 80dollars a day. It's okay for me considering I have nothing much to do. :)

Boyfriend was supposed to be quarantined in camp for 3 weeks due to swine flu. But miraculously, they lifted the quarantine today and hence, I'll be able to meet him really soon. Heaven must be taking pity on this poor girl who's missing her boyfriend. :)

You lose some, you gain some.

Have a great weekend! :)

2009-07-08T11:52:00.002+08:00

Rainy days are blue, but really good for snoozing and lazing at home. :)

I hope it stops raining by evening though, then I can go for a nice jog, or a nice swim, or both. :) ahhh, its so nice to be able to walk. I guess we all tend to treasure things more after losing them. But never too late to start cherishing yeah :)

Sometimes the feeling of hurt and pain can be so overwhelming that we find ourselves drowned in the darkness. But all pain, however intense it is felt at the very moment, will be washed away by time eventually. Maybe not completely, but the pain will fade gradually and you will find yourself able to pick yourself up and move on. Be strong. I know you can do it. :)

2009-07-03T23:13:00.002+08:00

Seems like such a long road ahead.

Can't really see what's going to appear before us. Never stop believing.

Someday, we will know.

Don't stop.

2009-06-30T23:25:00.002+08:00

OMG OMG OMG!!!

Check this out man.

SIGHHHHHHHHHH. I feel DAMN useless. haha!

2009-06-29T15:27:00.005+08:00

Pretty Rose on Cameron Highland. Check out other pictures on facebook. :)

The trip was fine. Some time away from Singapore.

Genting. I managed to sneak into the casino! haha. Okay, not sneak. The guard was a kind guard who allowed me to go in despite being under aged. He looked damn fierce! Like he was gonna eat me up or something. Anyway, the casino was cool. :) But still, gambling is bad. Leisure gambling is fine though :) haha. I swear, the next time I visit Genting again, I'm gonna go to the theme park. The past two times I go there I skip the theme park totally! Miss the thrill of speed and height. x)

Cameron. Love the view and temperature! <3 Its one of those good getaway place for a short trip. But don't expect many things to do because there ain't much. haha. But the roses there are really huge, as seen in the picture above. It makes those roses that guys give to girls in Singapore seem malnutrition. HAHA.

Kuala Lumpur. Attempted to shop and managed to get a few items. But I still don't feel good enough. haha! Think I've been to KL too many times that the things don't seem appealing anymore. SIGH. But it was nice going back there again. :)

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Just came back from NBS Senior Camp last night. Damn shag. Seriously tiring. I wonder how I survived 5 days last year when I'm already almost dead after 2 days this time. Getting old! tsk. I love the sun :)

I am dreading the start of school in August! SIGH. And I've already had 6 months of "rest" away from school. Okay, stop whining. Just enjoy the rest of my holidays :) :)

OH! I finally received my APRIL pay cheque. But not my May and June one yet. Hope to receive them before school starts. Shop~ yeahhhh. hahaha.

Off now~

2009-06-22T20:30:00.002+08:00

Watched He's Just Not That Into You this afternoon. I thought it was a good show for both males and females. It got me thinking. Oh, I like the part where Justin Long said "If a guy is acting like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit." haha. I think all girls should keep that in mind. Long gone is the theory that a guy goes against you because he likes you. That might happen when you are 10, but not when you are 20, 30 and so on, unless the guy has the mentality of a 10 year old, then maybe. Hmmm.. How far would you go in the name of love?

By the way, Jennifer Aniston rocks. :)

On a side note, I am pretty hooked on swimming and I can't wait to hit the pool again, before my tan goes away.

Malaysia from tomorrow till Friday and Senior Camp on Saturday and Sunday!

Till then` :)

2009-06-22T00:44:00.003+08:00

Been pretty happy with my life. I could live like this forever. :)

Movies, Cable Car, Stayover, Kbox, Leonardo da Vinci Exhibition, Cooking, Mahjong, Shopping, Swimming, BOYFRIEND.

Pretty much sums up my week. Loves. :)

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I think our minds work in ways that amaze me and dreams happen in ways that startle me.

When I least expect myself to think about something, that memory just pops up from no where. Some of these thoughts or memories just relief themselves and start playing through my mind over and over again. As much as I would like to block out some of them, I just can't seem to do so at that very moment despite being able to do so most other times. Some memories are so vivid, it feels as if I entered a time machine and was brought back to the past, at that very date, hour, minute and second. It scares me sometimes.

Usually when the above happens, I dream - related dreams. But my dreams, unlike my memories, are not real. My dreams are fantasies. Fantasies linked to the memories. Fantasies that are unreachable. When I wake up from such dreams, my emotions entangle. I don't know how and what to feel. I daze, until I reluctantly pull myself out of the dream and return to reality.

Don't get me wrong. Reality is good. I love my life and I feel contented. But I guess the unreachable always leaves us yearning. Not exactly greed, just fantasies. Like how I wished I had a house made of candies, chocolates and lollipops when I was a kid. Fantasies.

Back to basics.

2009-06-14T22:23:00.003+08:00

Last day of work today!! Felt SUPER good when I left the showflat today. DESPITE not receiving my pay yet, I felt a large burden gone. haha. Sounds like a stressful job eh? It is actually. Especially when you're all alone in the showflat and you gotta face angry buyers. Oh well.

ANYWAY.. Did I mention that there's this touchy male agent? I hate it. Yucks! I totally wanna stay at least 10 metres away from him! Super touchy! HATE IT. Sorry, gotta reiterate my point. And I just found out today that he was well-known for being lecherous from a female agent who was so nice to give me a lift to Bishan today after work. YUCKS! Why can't he keep his hands to himself and stop coming near me!! Lucky its my last day today. I hope I don't ever have to meet him ever again.

PHEW.

Time to slack, relax, shop and have fun :)

2009-06-05T13:28:00.003+08:00

Check this out.

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Australian woman goes to great lengths for success

SYDNEY (AFP) - - Australian Hajnal Ban asked doctors to keep her conscious as they broke her legs and attached them to stretching frames because she wanted to remember it as the moment that changed her life.

For as long as she could remember the 31-year-old lawyer and politician had felt deeply insecure about her height, but had resigned herself to life at 1.54 metres (just over five feet).

"If you're not happy with the other parts of your body you can change them through fairly routine cosmetic surgery but this is something that couldn't be fixed," Ban told AFP.

"For a long time I thought nothing could be done."

It was a chance conversation with friends as a 23-year-old that first alerted Ban to the concept of limb lengthening -- a cosmetic procedure popular in China, Italy and the United States but little-known in Australia.

"My ears just pricked up and I thought 'wow, this is incredible'," Ban said.

After months of standing in front of the mirror on top of phone books the Israel-born Ban said she saved enough for the 30,000 US dollar operation and travelled to the Ilizarov clinic at Kurgan, in the Siberian depths of Russia.

Doctors fed 14 wires through the flesh, soft tissue, muscle and bone of both legs to suspend them in circular stretching frames, and then broke them in two places.

"I had an epidural so I was awake for the whole thing, it was a four-hour operation," Ban said.

"I know this sounds quite weird and a lot of people probably won't understand it, but I was so excited. It was a day that I had been waiting for for such a long time, I relished that four hours.

"I was laying there and I recall quite vividly thinking this is just great, I'm finally here, I'm getting this done and it's going to change my life forever."

Over the next nine months Ban's legs were stretched every day as the broken bones healed, eventually boosting her to a height of 1.62 metres (5 feet 4 inches).

Once the frames were removed Ban spent another three months with both legs in plaster, and it was a "good solid year," she said, before she was "back to wearing heels and back to normal life".

Australian genetics researcher Sylvia Metcalfe said the intensive procedure was mainly used in Australia for people with dwarfism, and its cosmetic application was questioned by some.

"One of the most controversial aspects is people's perceptions of themselves," she said.

Side-effects and complications could include disfigurement, muscle, joint and nerve damage, infection, arthritis and chronic pain, Metcalfe said.

Following a series of botched operations, Beijing in 2006 banned the surgery, which was performed there for the image conscious by a largely unregulated beauty industry.

Popular among young Chinese professionals who believed height would help them climb the career ladder, the procedure was developed in Russia to help patients with birth defects such as dwarfism.

Under the 2006 ban, only hospitals that conducted at least 400 orthopedic operations a year and offered post-surgical care and rehabilitation were allowed to continue the surgery, and only on strictly medical grounds.

Ban kept the operation a secret from all but her closest family and friends, and said many were shocked.

"It is extreme, it is different and it is unique," she said.

"But I don't judge people about how they look and I don't want people to judge me and who I am based on a medical decision that I made seven years ago."

Now a qualified barrister with two university degrees, Ban was elected to Queensland state's Logan City Council in 2006 and made a failed bid for Australian parliament in 2007.

Following the operation, Ban said her height insecurity "just seemed to vanish" and she had a new confidence in her professional credibility.

"But I guess had I not had this operation I probably wouldn't be insecure about my height at this age because I would just accept who I am," she conceded.

"As you get older as a woman I think you become more mellow and you become more comfortable in your own skin."

Despite this, Ban said she had no regrets and refused to be judged for the message her story could send to young women.

"A lot of women can look within and find happiness within but there are a lot of women, just through the way that society is and the pressure that we have, have insecurity and have some self-doubt," said Ban.

"I think harnessing or using surgery that's out there for cosmetic applications is acceptable if it makes people feel good about themselves.

"I'm an advocate for women feeling good about themselves by whatever means necessary and available."

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Nice. I guess that means I will become around 1.65m if I undergo the op. haha!

But NO. I will never ever do that. I am pretty happy with my height, no matter how unbelievable that sounds. I think it kinda suits me. haha! Okay, I know it doesn't make sense because it IS me.

But ya, I wouldn't change my height. I guess its just one of those things that makes me who I am. I wouldn't be the same Shalynn that people know if I suddenly shoot up to 1.65m. Do you get what I mean? haha.

So next time if any of you ever want to "suan" me about my height, think again. Cause I wouldn't be the least affected. :)

SIGH. I'm so sleepy!
TGIF to all of you. :)

2009-06-02T12:17:00.005+08:00

I dreamt of climbing last night. :) I dreamt that I was lead climbing TJ's overhang. Damn cool. haha! It reminded me of the black route on the overhang in Yr 2. The feeling of reaching the top was SHIOK! :D But in my dreams, the tiles of the route were yellow. And it was a juggy route. Coolios. I can't remember who belayed me though. But I felt good in the dream. :)

Have been having quite a lot of meet ups recently. Feels quite nice. :)

By the way, I havent received my APRIL pay. zzz.

And I still want to swim.

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Joke.

I say:
i always stone when i sleepy one leh

I say:
like at sentosa that day

I say:
one of my friends keep complaining that i always stone

I say:
never hear what he say HAHA

dC- hate the sin and not the sinner says:
HAHA

dC- hate the sin and not the sinner says:
shalynn the stone

dC- hate the sin and not the sinner says:
lol!

I say:
lol i am not stone!

I say:
i rock!

I say:
=x

2009-06-01T01:05:00.002+08:00

SUPER SHAG.

Tiring and fulfilling weekend.

Thanks Graham, for hosting a chilling session/gathering at your place on Saturday night. haha. Even though it was pretty last minute, I had a good time. Go change your bed sheet! It has Darren's saliva. hahah. ;p

Absolutely love the sun today, despite being sun kissed. Pretty red now. haha. But haven't felt and been this way in quite some time. Loving it. :) :) It was also nice to meet up with the UMC people after so long. We should meet up more often! :)

Bed time.

I only had 3hours of sleep last night. zzzzzzzzzz.

2009-05-29T01:34:00.002+08:00

Be safe.

2009-05-26T12:19:00.000+08:00

Go do when you're bored! x)

http://apps.facebook.com/quizdoyouknowme/take_quiz.jsp?q=6964042&key=29I1

2009-05-24T00:54:00.003+08:00

My head feels light!

I think I can fall asleep anytime now.

In celebration of my mummy's birthday, I drank quite a lot just now, just like that night at Timbre. I wonder which was more. I feel as sleepy after both drinking sessions, but I still feel sane though. Just wanna sleep.

Anyway, I think my family is damn cool. We have such drinking sessions once in a while and I think its quite rare for families to be like that. haha! Went Seafood Paradise at Singapore Flyer for dinner. After that, went to Harris at Esplanade for a drink. Merely had one glass of cocktail there. On the way home after that, my dad suddenly suggested to visit the pub he always go to because they changed management not long ago and the new bosses wanted to see his family. So there we were, drinking quite a bit. And here I am, all blushed and feeling dreamy.

By the way, I still got work later in the morning. Nice.

Anyhow, I really enjoyed myself. Love my family. :)

Off to bed! Goodnight, fellow earthlings! :)

PS: I REALLY don't club. Hardly. I am just alright with drinking once in a while. I am a good girl. :)

2009-05-22T08:43:00.000+08:00

When you are trapped for too long and you suddenly get to be free, you just wanna fly as high as you can. That's how I feel ever since I started to walk again. Seriously, my life feels likes a bullet train ride. Occupied everyday. I hardly get more than 7 hours of sleep anymore. But that also means I have lower risk of dying early because a study has shown that people who sleep 7 hours a day have lower risk of dying early than those that sleep more than 7 hours a day. haha!

Spent my off-day yesterday meaningfully again. :) Caught Night at the Museum 2 with boyfriend in the afternoon. Not bad a show. Quite dumb and funny. haha. Met Caroline, Xiuru and Noriko later that afternoon. We started talking - non-stop - from 4.30pm all the way to 10pm when I was home. heh. We just got so much to talk about. Went coffeebean in town, then Caroline brought us to this French cafe for dinner. Island Creamery after that. Love <3 <3 <3. :) :) Nice Caroline sent us all home! Yay! So lucky to have friends with cars x)

Its so nice catching up with friends. :)

Mummy's birthday today. Bought her a cake last night. :) Gonna have nice dinner tonight and tomorrow night. I have been eating good food! Sinful. Tssssssssssk. I really need to do some exercise soon. I wanna swimmmmmmmm!

TGIF. and once again, I've got work over the weekends.

2009-05-19T21:44:00.002+08:00

I like to think that this world is a nice place filled with kind and warmhearted people. That's why I enjoy interacting with kids and the elderly. Such interactions bring you back to the basic. Sometimes it serves as a reminder about how you should live your life. How at the start it is a brand new life and at the end the only things that matters are just those few close to your heart. I helped an old man who was struggling with his steps today. I felt happy, and his words of thanks warmed my heart after a hard day at work. I like the world to be this way. It makes Earth a better place to be in. :)

2009-05-18T23:56:00.004+08:00

I finally went back to December 2008 and read my entries from then. I felt like I was reading a fiction narrative. Doesn't feel real to me.

Anyway, did I mention I got scolded at work by this buyer called Terence? YES, Terence. The irony. zzz. So far, this has been the worst scolding I got. Super angry guy. I just got scolded for something that's not my fault! My job was just to call buyers to relay HDB's message. I felt so innocent la. Got scolded for something I didn't do by a guy named TERENCE. Terence YAN. Lucky his surname wasn't Ong. haha.

Boyfriend's flying to Taiwan for training soon. I wish I could fly to my holiday destination soon too. I miss the feeling of flying to and being in Japan and Hong Kong. My two favourite places. :D

Tired tired tired!
Bedtime~

2009-05-17T23:35:00.004+08:00

You probably wanna read this.

Today felt weird. Watching a blouldering competition all over again. When my mobility was still restricted, I told myself I wanna avoid climbing. Avoid anything to do with that passion I once had. Didn't wanna be close to climbing walls, didn't wanna be updated about climbing-related events, didn't wanna watch any competitions.. Somehow, deciding to head down to Pumpfest today was easier than I thought it would be 3 months ago. In fact, if I wasn't working, I was supposed to be one of the officials helping out with the event. But being there today felt new - something I've never felt before. Like I said, it felt weird. So familiar, yet so alien to me at the same time. The whole place, whole event, whole ambiance felt like a stranger to me. I felt distant, like I was viewing from somewhere so far away. All these feelings topped with the fact that I really can't tell if I felt positive or negative. Mixed, I guess.

I still don't have an answer, still can't find the answer. Can't find it anywhere in me. I just can't bear any thought of it. If I can help it, I wouldn't even want to think about it. I am guessing that the answer will surface with time, and I don't have to make any move anytime soon.

I make it look easy. And it is easy when I don't think about it. But once I start thinking, it goes on and on until I put a stop to it. Its not easy, but I'll get through it.

I survived 5 months now. :) :)

Just some of my thoughts today.
I wanna go for a swim. I hope I can find time to do that soon.
I want my payyyyyyyy!
And I want my holiday.
I like meeting people I haven't met in eons.
I am happy :)
I want to have sweet dreams tonight.

Goodnight and honey deams to you too! :D

2009-05-15T14:04:00.002+08:00

Off-day yesterday was well-spent. :)

Met Si Lin and Li Yong after about 4 months and spent the day living our taitai lives. haha! Maybe we will all lead this kinda life in future, if we get a really good-paying job (or if we find ourselves rich husbands). heh. Anyway, we were at this TCC opposite Wheelock - the one with very nice ambiance. BUT, I guess I'll have to blacklist that place because there were houseflies and a LIZARD on the ceiling!! I spotted the lizard first and the three of us freaked out. haha. Quite funny because I think everyone around us must have been thinking we were crazy behaving weirdly over nothing. But lizard! And it looked like it was about to fall off the ceiling anytime. yucks! zzz.

After parting, met up with a handful of TJCCC people at timbre to celebrate Graham's birthday. Haven't seen shu and baichi for so long! Got new scandals. hahaha. Nice meeting up again. :) We should have a club gathering soon.

ANYWAY, to you, even though you probably wouldn't be reading this - please please please take care of yourself.

Anybody wants to watch Ballet Under the Stars?? 17-19 July at Fort Canning Park. Normal ticket priced at S$25, S$15 for students and NSF. haha. Always wanted to see how the event is like. :) :)

Okay. TGIF to all of you but I still need to work on Saturday and Sunday. zzz.

2009-05-13T21:35:00.004+08:00

I read this on yahoo news!!

"Homeless Korean dies

with 100,000 dollars in bank

SEOUL (AFP) - - A homeless South Korean unable to withdraw his life savings because he could not remember his real name has died in poverty, officials said.

The man, believed to be aged 56, died of cancer last month, leaving 128 million won (just over 100,000 dollars) in a bank account that was opened in early 1993 under the alias of Na Hae-Dong.

The account was frozen several months later when a law took effect to ban accounts held under false names, as an anti-corruption measure.

Deposits were still allowed but the account holder had to register a real name to withdraw money, something "Na" could not do.

"He didn't know what his real name was or where he was born. We tried but failed to identify him," Yoo Joon-Soo, the senior official of Yongbong district in the southwestern city of Gwangju, told AFP by phone.

The man collected scrap iron and other junk and slept on his cart under plastic sheets before moving in 2007 into a makeshift shelter made from a shipping container.

Though he could not withdraw from the account, he kept putting in savings.

"He used to say he wanted to buy a home with his savings," Yoo said.

"Last month, we applied for court approval to create his new ID and the court procedure was under way."

A local court is expected to order that the savings revert to the state, he added."

Like WOW, and what the hell? zzz. Poor man, seriously.

Finally, off day tomorrow! YAY! :) :)

Miss you, grandma..
Its been 6 years now.

2009-05-08T23:11:00.003+08:00

Do you remember forever love?

I went for dental appointment yesterday. They had many checks due to Swine Flu. And because of that, the place was pretty empty. So unusual. But really, I do think Singapore is doing quite a good job in preventing the spread from reaching us. Explains why Singapore is distancing from the flu while some other countries are still struggling with the virus.

The world's coming to an end. Soon is my guess. But we all won't be present to experience it, fortunately. Or not.

Stop killing Earth. I <3 my planet. hahaha. Going crazy. zzz.

I wanna meet YOU! :)

2009-05-02T22:18:00.006+08:00

X-Men Origins: Wolverine is nice nice nice!!!
Go watch go watch go watch!!! :D :D :D

Its nicer than Die Hard 4.0, Fast and Furious 4, Spiderman 1, 2, 3, Pirates of the Caribbean etc etc! Gosh! I really like the show. hahaha.

I realize I like action movies more than all the others. Ha!
And I'm pretty alright with War movies too.
Tsk. That's so not feminine of me. heh.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I worked for 13 days before I finally had off yesterday on Labour Day. PHEW. And from today, its work and more work, until the end of next week at least.

Hard earned money man, my gosh.

But I really learned a lot of things working at Parc Lumiere, considering it has only been 2 weeks. I guess... in a way, its worth it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hate swine flu.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
I want my holiday :(

2009-04-30T22:22:00.001+08:00

Words of Wisdom
by Lee Wei Ling

In 2007, in an end-of-year message to the staff of the National Neuroscience Institute, I wrote: 'Whilst boom time in the public sector is never as booming as in the private sector, let us not forget that boom time is eventually followed by slump time. Slump time in the public sector is always less painful compared to the private sector. 'Slump' time has arrived with a bang.

While I worry about the poorer Singaporeans who will be hit hard, perhaps this recession has come at an opportune time for many of us. It will give us an incentive to reconsider our priorities in life. Decades of the good life have made us soft. The wealthy especially, but also the middle class in Singapore, have had it so good for so long, what they once considered luxuries, they now think of as necessities.

A mobile phone, for instance, is now a statement about who you are, not just a piece of equipment for communication. Hence many people buy the latest model though their existing mobile phones are still in perfect working order. A Mercedes-Benz is no longer adequate as a status symbol. For millionaires who wish to show the world they have taste, a Ferrari or a Porsche is deemed more appropriate.

The same attitude influences the choice of attire and accessories. I still find it hard to believe that there are people carrying handbags that cost more than thrice the monthly income of a bus driver, and many more times that of the foreign worker labouring in the hot sun, risking his life to construct luxury condominiums he will never have a chance to live in.

The media encourages and amplifies this ostentatious consumption. Perhaps it is good to encourage people to spend more because this will prevent the recession from getting worse. I am not an economist, but wasn't that the root cause of the current crisis - Americans spending more than they could afford to?

I am not a particularly spiritual person. I don't believe in the supernatural and I don't think I have a soul that will survive my death. But as I view the crass materialism around me, I am reminded of what my mother once told me: 'Suffering and deprivation is good for the soul.' My family is not poor, but we have been brought up to be frugal. My parents and I live in the same house that my paternal grandparents and their children moved into after World War II in 1945. It is a big house by today's standards, but it is simple - in fact, almost to the point of being shabby.

Those who see it for the first time are astonished that Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew's home is so humble. But it is a comfortable house, a home we have got used to. Though it does look shabby compared to the new mansions on our street, we are not bothered by the comparison.

Most of the world and much of Singapore will lament the economic downturn. We have been told to tighten our belts. There will undoubtedly be suffering, which we must try our best to ameliorate. But I personally think the hard times will hold a timely lesson for many Singaporeans, especially those born after 1970 who have never lived through difficult times. No matter how poor you are in Singapore, the authorities and social groups do try to ensure you have shelter and food. Nobody starves in Singapore.

Many of those who are currently living in mansions and enjoying a luxurious lifestyle will probably still be able to do so, even if they might have to downgrade from wines costing $20,000 a bottle to $10,000 a bottle. They would hardly notice the difference.

Being wealthy is not a sin. It cannot be in a capitalist market economy. Enjoying the fruits of one's own labour is one's prerogative and I have no right to chastise those who choose to live luxuriously. But if one is blinded by materialism, there would be no end to wanting and hankering. After the Ferrari, what next? An Aston Martin? After the Hermes Birkin handbag, what can one upgrade to? Neither an Aston Martin nor an Hermes Birkin can make us truly happy or contented. They are like dust, a fog obscuring the true meaning of life, and can be blown away in the twinkling of an eye. When the end approaches and we look back on our lives, will we regret the latest mobile phone or luxury car that we did not acquire? Or would we prefer to die at peace with ourselves, knowing that we have lived lives filled with love, friendship and goodwill, that we have helped some of our fellow voyagers along the way and that we have tried our best to leave this world a slightly better place than how we found it?

We know which is the correct choice - and it is within our power to make that choice. In this new year, burdened as it is with the problems of the year that has just ended, let us again try to choose wisely. To a considerable degree, our happiness is within our own control, and we should not follow the herd blindly.

2009-04-21T21:38:00.004+08:00


	Queue at Parc Lumiere

SINGAPORE: Applications were only supposed to open on Tuesday, but the overwhelming response to the Housing and Development Board's (HDB) latest housing project in Simei, under the Design, Build and Sell Scheme (DBSS), prompted developer Sim Lian Group to accept bookings on Saturday.

Under DBSS, private developers manage the project from its design to construction and sale, and applications are accepted on a first-come-first-served basis.

Four-room units at Parc Lumiere are priced between S$378,000 and S$425,000, while five-room units are priced between S$462,000 and S$575,000.

By 6.30pm, 118 out of the 360 units at Parc Lumiere were already sold. Nevertheless, over 700 people continued to queue in the hopes that not everybody ahead of them would buy a flat.

Diana Kuik, executive director of Sim Lian Group, said: "They're all issued with a queue ticket, so they can come back tomorrow morning and queue according to their queue number again."

Parc Lumiere's show flats open at 10am and close at 7pm.

- CNA/so

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nice. As I have mentioned, Parc Lumiere was a blast. Imagine the throng of people on Saturday and Sunday. And imagine the 118 orders we had to process (behind the scenes) in merely 7 hours, or less. Mad rush.

Its a nice place though. A bit pricey comapared to normal HDB, I feel. But for a DBSS Project, its quite reasonable. I heard there are private forums set up for the topic Parc Lumiere. Interesting.

Its pretty tiring working long hours everyday. But quite fulfilling, in a way. haha. Learnt many things about the process of buying a house. Really have to go through many steps, and so much checking and photocopying to do. Not easy.

Rest time. :)

2009-04-18T22:07:00.002+08:00

Work today was super hardcore and I am super tired. 8.45am to 9pm. zzzzzzzzzz. Tomorrow's gonna be worse I think, cause it's gonna start at 8am!!!!!!!! T_T Sigh. All for money. haha.

Parc Lumiere.

You would probably have seen it in the newspaper or news. It was, indeed, really crowded. MUCH more crowded than I had expected it to be. People queued since last night!

Oh, and I met Philip and Kelly there. They were trying for a unit. I hope they manage to get it! :)

REST.

I need rest.

Till then`

2009-04-16T01:12:00.002+08:00

I found fairytale in my dream...

It was unbelievably beautiful, unimaginably sweet, and impossibly real.

2009-04-14T20:30:00.002+08:00

Excuse me. I've got my fair share of worries in life too. You think I'm leading a good life? Sure, come be me and experience all the s**t I experienced the past months. Oh, and not forgetting all the uncertainties I had to face and am going to have to face in future. You think this is easy? You think YOUR life is hard and screwed up? Sure, let's switch roles. Be my guest. You don't know how fortunate you are.

So just stop comparing, get a grip and get on with life already.

The world isn't gonna stop for you. Sorry, but that's just the way it is.

2009-04-13T20:32:00.003+08:00

Zomg! Cute! hahaha.

By the way, I am going to start work soon. Like a super hardcore job at this showflat in Simei. (Baichi! If you are reading this, its very near the bus stop near your house!) Hardcore because I need to work everyday for 3 weeks. Everyday includes weekend. Okay, maybe I do get to take time off. Anyway.. that aside. I used to wonder why baichi always gets bird shit attacks. I understand now. Because there are friggin' many birds in simei and their shits are everywhere on the paths too!!! One drop of shit fell right before me today!! I was stunned for a moment there, then increased my pace. Disgusting SHIT man. What's with the birds in Simei?

Sigh. There are just too many worries in life. Guess I gotta screen those worries. Place the important ones before me and the not-so-important ones at the back of my mind. But.. I think all of us know, we usually rather think of the not-so-important worries. Its called avoidance and living in self-deception.

Do you know what makes you truly happy?

2009-04-08T09:43:00.007+08:00

My baby niece, little Gisele, arrived in this world on the night of 7th April. :) :)

Despite already being an aunt of plenty of nieces and nephews, I know I'm going to be so biased towards her because she's the daughter of a close cousin of mine.

Gosh, this was truly love at first sight. My heart melted when my I saw the MMS my cousin sent me. Not kidding! Ahh, Gisele is so small and fragile! She's gonna be loved by so many of us. :)

heart <3

2009-04-04T01:18:00.009+08:00

Sometimes we do things that we least expect ourselves to do.

Laugh Out Loud!
Hahahaha :D

2009-04-01T13:31:00.003+08:00

When its sunshine after the rain, that tinge of doubt remains. How can it be so easy? Too easy and too good to be true. No way.

But it can't be more true.

An amazing, magical feeling.

2009-03-30T15:33:00.002+08:00

Suddenly feel so small and insignificant.
Earth's such a big planet and yet, this big place is just a small proportion of space.
Picture how small you are.

Hey you.
Here's some answers.

In life, everything is ever-changing. Nothing remains unchanged. Changes, in turn, requires adaptation. Sometime in life, we all experience unpleasant changes. Such changes, unlike pleasant ones, are harder to adapt to. We have a couple of choices, but it all comes down to just two - either you accept it and move on, or you try to mold this change further into something you would prefer. During this decision process, you will probably have doubts and struggles. You sit on the fence, you try to find a middle point, you wish you had other choices. You start assigning weights, measure the worthiness, measure the importance. You wonder about the unknown.

That's all for you. :) :)

2009-03-29T00:53:00.009+08:00

Wow.

Mind Boggling.

2009-03-26T21:40:00.003+08:00

Behind every word, a hurt.
Behind every hurt, a sorry.
Behind every sorry, a sadness.
And behind every sadness, a disappointment.

I need to believe that I made the right choice.
I need to believe that I wouldn't regret my decision.
I need to believe that.. its worth it. Or is it not?

Justification.

2009-03-24T11:55:00.003+08:00

It feels so alien to me.

2009-03-23T14:14:00.002+08:00

My last entry wasn't anything personal to me. Its just how I feel bad for some people who are constantly faced with life's downs and rarely get to experience the ups. We all are pretty fortunate, in a way. As much as there are many things about Singapore that I so abhor and detest, I can't deny the many other positive points about living here.

BREATHE.

You will reach a point of numbness where you stop feeling anything at all. But that point will only last for a split second.

2009-03-22T19:34:00.008+08:00

Humans ~~are just selfish, self-centered creatures you can never trust~~ make mistakes unknowingly, and sometimes, unintentionally.

"I" seems more important to some compared to "he", "she", "him", "her", "they" or "them".

Its so weird how "forgive and forget" became such a famous phrase. It doesn't make sense. If you need to make yourself forget something, you will never be able to forgive. True forgiveness entails remembering and yet still be able to let go and not hang on to whatever is making your life miserable.

2009-03-19T19:51:00.003+08:00

"How can you do this to me? How can you..." he cried aloud, angry and betrayed.

She stood still and looked at him, her eyes filled with apologies and remorse.

"How can you do this to me?" he repeated, this time, softer and smoother, expressing the helplessness in him.

He held her hand, refusing to let go, ignoring by-passers' curious eyes as they stared while they walked pass.

"I'm sorry, but its what best for us." she said unwillingly, almost a whisper, under the almost full moon.

"You know I love you and I know you do too. Please. We'll work things out. We'll make it work, I promise." he pleaded.

She continued to look at him. She did love him deeply still. She did want to make this work out as badly as he did. They continued to stand before each other, hands interlocked. After moments of staring at the one she loved in the silence, she gave up. She stepped forward to hug him - a sincere and tight hug filled with much love and yearn.

"We are going to make things work" she whispered as a tear rolled down her flushed cheek.

Disclaimer: The above story is fiction. Any similar scenes to real life is purely coincidental. The author will not be responsible for any discomfort felt by reader.

2009-03-17T12:49:00.002+08:00

I finally watched Twilight last night. I know, I am a few months late. Anyway, I think most of you should have watched it already so I probably won't be a spoiler if I blogged about it? If you haven't caught the movie, then maybe you should not continue. :)

I would rate it 2.5/5. I was quite disappointed. With everything. Okay, almost everything.

Robert Pattinson, who acted as Edward Cullen in the film, didn't quite attract and entice me as much as how the Edward did in the book. He couldn't quite bring out the attraction and protection that he had towards Bella in the book. But as the show continued, he managed to show the gentleness that Edward had beneath the dangerous creature he was.

Kristen Stewart, who acted as Bella Swan, was fine at the beginning. But as the story began to progress, I felt that she didn't really portray the love she had for Edward very deeply. Her expressions at certain parts, showed more fear than love, which isn't quite the same in the book.

All in all, I just couldn't really feel the undying love and thrill as I had when I was reading the book. I felt that the book illustrated most things more elaborate and clearly.

BUT, I pretty much like the scene where they were playing baseball. This was the only part where I felt was better than the book. Really cool. ^^

OH and also, I gotta give credit to Kristen Stewart during the scene where she was bitten by James. She acted quite well there I thought. :)

That's all. Just some of my thoughts about the movie and the book, cause I really like the story a lot. :) Temptation, Lust and Allure. Really really a page turner.

Its Tuesday and the weather is pretty nice. Enjoy!

2009-03-09T19:38:00.004+08:00

-A Journal-

10:00AM I woke up 4 hours before my long awaited surgery to make sure I was fully prepared, both physically and mentally. Just as I was about to have my first meal for the day, the phone rang. I picked up, recognizing the familiar number calling from the hospital. The woman, around her 40s requested for me to head down to the hospital immediately. I hung up the phone, feeling both excited that my surgery would be sooner rather than later and nervous as I was not quite mentally prepared considering I just woke up.

11:30AM After a quick breakfast at the hospital, I made my way up to the Day Surgery Centre, glad that my mum was ever so patient and altruistic to be by my side whenever I was in distress. The admission procedure took almost half an hour, and throughout that 30 minutes, my mind was in a blank. As unbelievable as it might seem, I was neither afraid nor scared at all. Somehow, the first surgery increased my reselient quite a bit.

12:00PM I got changed into my surgical clothes, feeling bare and light. My surgery was estimated to begin at 12:00PM. But an estimate was all that a hospital can ever give its patients. I waited in silence, absorbing my surrounding in the ward. 3 other patients were waiting for the surgeries too. They were all accompanied by loved ones, just like I was accompanied by my mum. I tried to imagine what it would be like to be each of them, and I wondered how they were feeling as they waited too. One hour passed, and I was still waiting. It seemed like the longest wait ever, at least until I experience the next 2 hours.

1:00PM The Operating Theatre was cold, just as it had been during my first operation. A staff nurse came over to talk to me, made sure I was fine and well. Again, I absorbed the surrounding in the Operating Theatre - Green walls and ceiling, white furniture, metal frames, 3 sets of 3 bright lights above the bed. I was calm and serene, much better than how I'd expected myself to be. I was going to have Local Anesthesia instead of a General Anesthesia. This meant that I would be awake throughout the operation and only numbed at the leg. Deep down in my heart, I kept wondering if I made the correct choice for choosing Local over General. But we only live once, and I would want to try out everything if possible, and that includes staying awake during an operation. My view, however, was covered by a piece of green cloth to make sure I do not oversee the bloody surgical process, just in case I faint, or at least, I presumed that was the reason.

2:00PM After an hour of nurses and doctors walking around and getting all instruments and procedures ready (due to the lack of an xray, I had to wait for quite a while), my surgeon started sterilizing my leg with what smelled like ethanol. "Okay, Shalynn, I am going to give you an injection now to numb your leg." This was where it all started. I had a sandbag beneath me to tilt me to one side and a rubber ring around my thigh to prevent blood from rushing to my leg. The rubber ring was extremely tight, enough pain to keep my mind from thinking about what the doctor was doing to my leg at the beginning. The next fifteen minutes was blurry, feeling my bones move without the pain and hearing the doctors and nurses communicating. Gross as it may sound, I swear I could feel the surgeon's every action - from the scalpel, to the screw driver to the cleaning of the wound and dressing. Before I knew it, a nurse came by my side with a smile and said "It's over". I heaved a sigh of relief. Fortunately, it was not even half as bad as I thought it would be. I felt brave and alive as I was pushed out of the Operating Theatre, back to the ward. Nothing could be more real.

2:40PM Back in the ward, my leg was numb from the loosening of the rubber ring and the gushing of blood through my leg. It was not too bad, at least the pain did not come in all at once, like my last surgery. I ate and rested for a while, still feeling happy and glad that I made it through. The syndesmotic screw was given to me as a souvenir. Its a treasure to me right now.

3:30 PM I was discharged and able to come back home. It was, indeed, a very very meaningful day to me.

-The End-

2009-03-07T00:21:00.003+08:00

Like this song so much that I have to shift it to this post so it won't "disappear" after a few more entries. hahah.

I feel like
- eating ben and jerry
- eating haagen dazs
- BUFFET
- watching movie in a movie theatre!
- going east coast park for a really long and nice walk or just to feel the breeze
- going sentosa for a really long and nice walk along the beach and under the sun
- dressing up
- wearing my dear HEELS! I miss wearing heels. gosh.
- jogging around my neighbourhood like how I used to every week!

Its amazing how I can lose weight staying at home everyday and gorging myself with food while being a couch potato. Amazing, seriously.

09 March 2009 12:00PM - can't wait.

2009-03-06T02:11:00.002+08:00

zzz BORED LIKE HELL zzz

[1.] Real Name - Ler Tze Min Shalynn
[2.] Like It? - Definitely
[3.] Single or Taken? - Taken
[4.] Zodiac Sign - Libra
[5.] Male or Female? - Female
[6.] Elementary School?- Cedar Primary
[7.] Middle School? - Geylang Methodist Secondary
[8.] High School? - Temasek JC
[9.] College? - NTU
[10.] Hair Color - dark brown (that's my natural hair colour at least. haha.)
[11.] Eye Color - It seems brown under the sun and black indoor.
[12.] Hair Length - Long.
[13.] Current Worry? - hmmmm...
[14.] Weight - 41.5kg
[15.] Are You A Health Freak? - maybe a little? haha.
[16.] Height - 157cm (if you were always dying to know, now you know)
[17.] Do You Have A Crush On Someone? - life-long crush on my milk bottle
[18.] Do You Like Yourself? - of course
[19.] Any Piercings? - one on each ear
[20.] Any Tattoos? - none
[21.] Righty or Lefty? - Righty

***FIRSTS***
[22.] First Surgery? - 30th December 2008
[23.] First Piercings? - K1? or K2.
[24.] First Best Friend? - that would be my milk bottle. :)
[25.] First Award? - Primary school sports day? can't remember.
[26.] First Sport? - Basketball
[27.] First Pet? - fish
[29.] First Teacher? - I seriously can't remember
[30.] First Crush? - :)

***THIS OR THAT***
[31.] Orange or Apple Juice? - Apple
[32.] Rock or Rap? - Rock
[33.] Country or Screamo? - Neutral
[34.] N'Sync or Backsteet Boys? - Neutral
[35.] Britney Spears or Christina Aguliera? - Neutral
[36.] Night or Day? - Night
[37.] Sun or Moon? - Right now, sun. But usually, moon.
[38.] TV or Internet? - Internet
[39.] PlayStation or XBox? Neutral
[40.] Kiss or Hug? - Hug of course. Hug is more universal. You don't usually give friendly kisses but you always give friendly hugs. haha.
[41.] Iguana or Turtle? - Turtle
[42.] Spider or Bee? - YUCKS to both. But I'll choose spider if spiderman is a subset of it.
[43.] Fall or Spring? - Fall
[44.] Limewire or iTunes? - Blah
[46.] Soccer or Baseball? - Neither

***CURRENTLY**
[50.] Drinking? - plain water
[51.] I'm About To? - sleep
[53.] Singing? - NOTHING its like 2.00AM in the morning!
[54.] Typing? - words

***FUTURE***
[55.] Want Kids? - Yup
[56.] When? - You reckon?
[57.] Marriage? - Yeah, of course, if I want kids.
[58.] When? - When I accept a proposal
[59.] Where Do You Want To Live? - Singapore is small. Anywhere's fine. BOON LAY is out though.
[60.] How Many Kids? - 2-3 preferably
[62.] What Did You Want To Be When You Were Little? - doctor, teacher, nurse, blah. Anything cliche you can name.
[63.] What Do You Think You'll Really Be Doing? - My course-related jobs.
[64.] Mellow Future Or Wild? - Mellow. My heart can't take it if its too wild. haha.
[66.] Something You Would Never Try? - Smoking
[67.] When Do You Wanna Die? - It not up to me

***WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?***
[68.] Lips or Eyes? - Eyes
[69.] Hugging or Kissing? - Hmmm?
[70.] Shorter or Taller? - Taller because you can hardly find a guy shorter than me. Seriously.
[71.] Tan Skinned or Light? - Tan, preferably.
[72.] Romantic or Spontaneous? - Balanced.
[73.] Dark or Light Hair? - Doesn't matter as long as it looks good on him
[74.] Muscular or Normal? - :)
[75.] Hook-Up or Relationship? - Relationship
[76.] Similar To You Or Different? - More similarities than differences.

***HAVE YOU EVER?***
[78.] Kissed A Stranger? - No
[79.] Drank Bubbles? - Haha. This is cute. No.
[81.] Climbed Up A Tree? - Seem to have some vague memory but can't be sure.
[82.] Broken Someone's Heart? - Maybe. Probably. Okay, yes.
[85.] Liked A Friend As More Than A Friend? - Yeah, I guess.

***DO YOU BELIEVE IN***
[86.] Yourself? - Definitely
[87.] Miracles? - When it is the only thing I can hold on to
[88.] Love At First Sight? - Yes
[89.] Santa Claus? - No
[90.] Kissing On The First Date? - Not really.
[91.] Angels? - I believe in angels who were once humans.
[92.] God? - No, I doubt. No offense though. All religions teach good.

***ANSWER TRUTHFULLY***
[93.] Is There Someone You Want To Be With Right Now? - Yeah, but he's in camp. haha.
[94.] Do You Like Someone? - Of course. I don't hate anyone, so I like them all.

***LASTS***
[95.] Recieved/Sent Text Message - Goodnight sms
[96.] Received Call - TTHS
[97.] Call Made? - Mummy
[98.] Comment On Facebook? - Made on Gabriel's 100 Truths
[99.] Missed Call? - Mummy
[100.] Person You Hungout With? - Wow. I haven't really Hungout in a LONG time. Literally. But if hanging out at home is included, that would be Terence.

^^ Bed time ^^ :) :)

2009-03-02T22:41:00.001+08:00

Singapore's NTU stabbing incident leaves one dead and another injured
Posted: 02 March 2009 1532 hr

SINGAPORE: A final-year engineering student at the Nanyang Technological University (NTU) jumped from a campus block after stabbing a professor on Monday morning.

The professor was in his office at the engineering faculty when the student stabbed him in the back with a knife, leaving him injured.

After stabbing the professor, the male student - who was in his 20s - slit his wrists and jumped off a five-storey building.

Police said they received a call about the incident at 10.35am, and arrived to find the student dead at the bottom of the engineering block.

Eyewitnesses had also told Channel NewsAsia that a person had been stabbed, and that a student, believed to be an Indonesian-Chinese had slit his wrists before jumping off a building.

An NTU spokesman later confirmed that a final year student from the School of Electrical and Electronics Engineering was involved in the stabbing.

It, however, did not name the two people involved, and only said that their next-of-kin had been notified.

The student is said to be 21-year-old David Hartanto Widjaja and the professor is believed to be Chan Kap Luk, who was left with injuries on his back and arm.

David Hartanto Widjaja was a former president of the NTU Electronic Sports Club.

Professor Chan, a Singaporean in his 40s, was sent to the National University Hospital for treatment and is said to be in a stable condition.

The professor has been with NTU's School of Electrical and Electronic Engineering since June 1992.

Professor Chan, who is Deputy Director of the Biomedical Engineering Research Centre at NTU, is said to have been the supervisor of the student in a project.

NTU's president, Su Guaning, pledged to help the families of the professor and student and has mobilised its counselling professionals to help. He also said the matter will be investigated thoroughly.

"The university is deeply shocked and saddened by what has happened… The university community will rally together at this difficult time and do our utmost to help the student's family, the professor and his family, and those traumatised by the incident," added Dr Su.

- 938LIVE/CNA/sf

I wonder why...

2009-03-01T18:15:00.003+08:00

Rainy days are loves.

At times, we try to find a meaning and reason to everything.
In the end, somethings just don't need a meaning or reason.
Somethings are just worth it the way they are.

Cheers to a happy week ahead` :)

2009-02-27T12:56:00.001+08:00

Memories are mysterious things. They don't exist literally, but they are there, somewhere inside of you and me.

More importantly, memories, they linger on...

2009-02-26T19:15:00.003+08:00

There's something I want to share with all of you. Something I've learned about myself and the way life molds us in ways we usually don't see, unless we make it a point to. But before we can see them, we must face them. Which, I would say, is the crux.

The past 2 months have presented me with life changing events, one after another. Through it all, I would say I was strong. Maybe not strong enough to recover from everything instantly, but strong enough to make it through all of it. Honestly, I can't say I am perfectly fine. Fact is, I am not. Even after I can walk, I know I wouldn't be perfectly fine. Not instantly, at least. But somehow, I think I know why.

I didn't want to face them. All of them were nightmares to me. So, I appeared fine in many of your eyes. So, I appeared happy in every way possible. Just recently though, I realised they weren't true. They were just to entertain people - a facade. I was running away. It was only when I faced them, did they all become real. I know, real, may not always be the most pleasant thing. But I am not the same person anymore. I grew. Within 2 months, I've undergone a large part of life's transformation. They were real. And, its good. I am good. I feel like a better person, despite all that has happened. I feel real, if you get what I mean.

The message I want to carry to all of you is;
Face them. Face your fears. Don't run away from them. Because once you manage to overcome those fears, you feel good. You will feel like a better person.

So.. if there's any point in your life where you feel different and you don't exactly like it, or where you feel scared about what is coming or what has came, don't run away from them. Face them and once you get over that phase, you'll feel stronger, and you know you are special :)

2009-02-24T01:20:00.005+08:00

Cyclops

I think I finally know what's wrong.

2009-02-20T11:38:00.002+08:00

Some time in life, we finally stop. We stop to reflect; we stop to think; we stop to apologise; we stop to catch our breaths; and perhaps, we stop to finally face up to reality. We stop running away from the inevitable.

I feel so tired...

Some time in life, we stop, to realise we're all alone in this world full of perils. We're left all alone to fend for ourselves.

2009-02-18T01:48:00.004+08:00

为什么相爱的人在接吻时都是闭上眼睛的？

因为。。。这是一种享受。就好像吃巧克力一样。好吃的巧克力放进嘴巴里是一种享受，你会很自然的闭上眼睛。很多人说只有在你闭上眼睛之后，才会看见最想看见的东西。

可听说
梦的出口
我们若按图索骥的走
是否就能找得到

黑夜了白昼
春夏又秋冬
一天复一天
一周又一周都经过
在人群中我们擦肩而过
在城市的呼吸里沉默游走
探索一份自己渴望已久的温柔
寻找着

可听说
梦的出口
我们若按图索骥的走
是否就能找得到

爱美丽的轮廓
远处招手
当我们穿梭过了寂寞
只见霓虹灯闪烁

黑夜了白昼
春夏又秋冬
一天复一天
一周又一周都经过
在人群中我们擦肩而过
在城市的呼吸里沉默游走
探索一份自己渴望已久的温柔

黑夜了白昼
春夏又秋冬
一天复一天
一周又一周都经过
谁在人群中
总低着头做梦
我们在人群中擦肩而过
在城市的呼吸里沉默游走
我知道你会在那一头
我们就在对的那一秒碰头
下一站的出口有人等我有人等我
下一站的出口你等着我

2009-02-16T23:46:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, as a third person, we think see things more clearly. Sometimes, as a third person, we wish we could interfere to do what we thing is correct and to change the situation for the better. But what we do not know, are the feelings the first person (or people) goes through and the struggle, happiness, hope, disappointment, tiredness that is experienced.

I have pretty unique views regarding a relationship. In a relationship, things should be mutual. Its never easy, and that is where the word compromising comes into the picture. Give and take may sound simple, but not to some. Respect is needed to understand how the other party is feeling. Effort should be put in to make it a point to make things work. A relationship should be balanced. Unbalanced relationships are usually unhappy. When one devotes more into a relationship than the other, its unbalanced. It causes unhappiness. When one makes decisions more than the other, it may seem like a personality issue, but with time, it becomes unbalanced. Choices that are sacrificed will one day become regrets that cause cracks in a relationship.

I am not old, yet to be 20. But when one has a own set of beliefs, it sometimes make it harder for things to go wrong. Maybe that's why I feel that I don't exactly need a religion.

Just a random entry about relationships. Just feel like it.

2009-02-14T00:00:00.003+08:00

♥♥♥

♥ Because Love Is NEVER As

Complicated As It Seems ♥

Happy Valentine's Day!

♥♥♥

<3 sha

2009-02-13T12:08:00.002+08:00

1) Some idiot who named himself/herself as "bloghopper" said mean things about my best friend. And who in the world is that coward who doesn't even dare to reveal his/her identity say those untrue things about Li Yong. *many curses* Karma goes around and comes around.

2) Had a catching up session with an old friend after.. I can't remember how long, but yeah, long. haha. Nice talking to you, Wilson (: Hope your busy days pass fast! Soon, you'll be off to enjoy the beauty of Japan. ^^

3) Its Valentine's Day tomorrow. NO, I'm not celebrating it. For quite an obvious reason. No, two obvious reasons. But anyway, I hardly celebrate this day. The past two years have been spent with Li Yong, regardless of my status. But this year, she has her other dear, and I am truly happy for her. (:

4) I think my next op will be scheduled in 2 to 3 weeks time. Somehow, the second time feels so different from the first. In fact, I am more apprehensive. haha. Maybe because during the first time, I didn't know what to expect. But still, I can't wait.

5) I dream of the weirdest things on earth. Drugs, murder, police station, dance floor, unique movie theater, TOM AND JERRY, confessions, etc etc.

6) Mahjong is SUPER addictive. It really is. haha.

7) I feel more than just lucky to be surrounded by good, true and nice friends. Many thanks to all of you! (:

8) Somebody's birthday tomorrow. (:

9) Its Friday today. May all of you have a great weekend ahead!

2009-02-12T15:27:00.004+08:00

Something happened last night. I managed to fall asleep fast, very fast. I managed to sleep soundly, really soundly. And it rained as I wished. It was pouring heavily. Did somebody up there hear my sorrow?

If Fairy godmothers exist, would I have one?

2009-02-12T00:24:00.002+08:00

Have been having bad bad BAD VERY BAD insomnia. Suddenly remember the horrible period in JC1 when I suffered from insomnia too. VERY bad. I can't sleep even though I am dead dead DEAD TIRED. zzz. Always end up lying in bed for 2 hours flipping by my sides before finally drifting into sleep. AND it doesn't stop there!! I begin to drift in and out of sleep until I wake up the next morning. Sucky sucky SUPER sucky feeling.

I just want to have a good night sleep without having to ATTEMPT to have one. SIGH.

Bad feeling. Let it rain.

Sometimes, I struggle with myself regarding my identity.

2009-02-10T15:31:00.002+08:00

I think I lost my inspiration to blog, which explains the rarity of my entries. Not that one week is long. Just that I used to blog every other day. This is what happens when you lead a really boring life.

Anyway.. Saturday my family invited relatives and friends over. My house was flooded by people. Seriously packed. Its nice once in a while to have so many people at your place. :) Well, at least, that's how I feel. I managed to spend some time with Li Yong, Si Lin, and their boyfriends, Josiah and Kee Onn. Sorry I couldn't host you people well by the way. Will make it up once I can walk. haha.

I found a job. Sort of? Its quite tough though. Its a telemarketing job for a recruitment agency to find clients. But I earn solely based on commission. Which means, you find clients (and they manage to close the deal), you earn. If you don't, then sorry, no income at all. So, why did I say it was hard? Because firstly, a lot of companies have their own HR department for recruitment. Secondly, the recruitment agency I'm working for is not like Recruit Express or Kelly Services. In another words, it is not as famous and well-known. Thirdly.. Its just not easy to find clients and get them to successfully sign the T&C.

So... I am doing what I can. At least, I found something to keep myself occupied. Best thing is its home-based and own time own target. If I ever earn anything, I will be SO DAMN HAPPY.

And by the way, some Singaporeans are REALLY very very rude. Fortunately, majority are polite and nice.

Oh, I have been reading recently too.
Cecelia Ahern - "Thanks for the Memories"
MUST READ. Really nice, I feel. :)

2009-02-04T15:07:00.004+08:00

The sky was a mixture of pretty shades of blue.
The birds, they flew freely as they will;
as if the sky was a borderless stage in the midst of their performance.
The leaves, they rustled silently;
as if whispering to one another, afraid to be discovered.

It was, as it seemed, a good day to begin with.
She breathed in and felt hope, knowing that nothing could stop her from what she had decided to do.
She knew deep down that this was what she wanted, regardless of how others may perceive it.
She had chosen to step forward, knowing that there would be no regrets.
She knew she made the right choice.

2009-02-02T15:14:00.001+08:00

Just for laughs :)

An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Pretty Girl, Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, Baby etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and clearly they were still very much in love.

While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host: 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names.'

The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is!'

2009-01-28T22:34:00.005+08:00

Chinese New Year Eve.. Had a talk with my cousin. His name is Sebastian. 2 years my senior. We exchanged our experiences - unlucky experiences. He was in NS 2 years ago when he was knocked down by a Rover, if you can imagine. Yes, unlucky. Apparently, the instructor was asleep and the driver who have not gotten his license somehow (which I still can't figure out how on earth he did it) went up the curb (at a speed limit of 20km/hr?!!!) and hit Sebastian from the back. Poor him was hurt quite badly. Major injuries on his wrist and lip area. He had many stitches. Probably around what I had. 15? Thereabouts. He, too, had a metal piece in him for quite a while and took some time to fully recover. The scars though, are still there, and would probably always be there.

We share quite unlucky encounters. But at the end of everything, both me and him had the same conclusion - just be glad we are still alive.

The past two days of Chinese New Year had been quite...... heart wrenching for me. I have a large family. Seriously large. My dad has 10 siblings and my mum has 13 siblings. So if you can just try to imagine how many times I have to explain what happened to me and my leg, you would probably get a rough idea of what I went through. But what I felt.. that's something I guess only I can comprehend and something I never want to go through again. Its like reminding myself over and over and over again about this incident, which I really don't want to talk about sometimes.

What was I supposed to answer when asked
pain not?;
do you still dare to climb again?;
why are you so careless?;
wouldn't you graduate later than your friends?;
then what do you do at home?;

Or when someone says
oh my god! scar! + a look that says "scars are gross";
look at the swell!;
GIRL climb for what?! act smart (in hokkien);

Et cetera, et cetera. Just, if you can imagine.. Over and over again.

Okay, I KNOW all of my relatives care for me. I really am clearly aware of it. Its just that.. I'm already feeling HORRIBLE to the max. Maybe you should consider saying something nicer, kinder and milder for the benefit of my feelings? Its quite hurtful to hear somethings, really. Sigh. In times like this, I would really appreciate having sensitive people around me.

One of my aunties said "This is to pay off your sins in your previous life. Once you pay it off, everything will go well in future for you."

and I certainly hope so.

Staring at the stars is like staring backward in time, since some stars are so far away that their light takes millons of years just to reach us. We see stars not as how they look now, but as they were when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

When I stare at the sky, I know that someone was doing the exact same thing thousands of years ago.

How far would you go to keep the hope of love alive?

2009-01-27T13:49:00.004+08:00

新年快乐！

祝大家在新的一年里会

开开心心；

心想事成；

事事顺利；

快高长大；

金钱多多；

笑容多多；

桃花运不用多，一个就好！:D

Hahaha. This is so fun!
I love chinese.
Happy Chinese New Year to all!! :) :)

2009-01-24T12:03:00.002+08:00

Hello! :)

Here are some pictures of the cupcakes I made :)

One's chocolate and the other's chocolate chip.

Do they look appetizing to you? haha. :)
Seriously, do consider ordering from me if you have some parties etc.
You can request for the flavours you like.
Usually, I don't do frosting.
But if you are a huge fan of sweet sugary and colourful icing, you can request for that too. :)

---End of advertisement---

Thank you for your time. haha :)

<3 sha

2009-01-22T17:37:00.003+08:00

When I hear this song, I feel like singing and dancing and jumping around in my room, swinging my head in all directions as my hair dance along with the rhythm. But not now of course. I'll break another leg. haha. Okay, I'll do it after I get well. Join me? Sing and jump and dance your problems away. :)

Got my hair done today. Like after so long. Chinese New Year's nearing. :) New year, new start. Something to share; My mummy's new year resolution is to nag at me and my brother less. Such a cute mother.

Something I hate to admit. It seems exceptionally hard to come up with new year resolutions this year. I'm like.. 22 days late already. Sigh.

Maybe I should resolve to not have new year resolutions, since most of my resolutions for the past few years are quite general - good results, be happy, blah.

Hmmm.......
Don't know.
Really can't think of anything. tsk.

Anyway, I baked cupcakes that day. They taste nice, surprisingly (since it was my first time). Ahh, If I decide to sell cupcakes, would you consider buying?? :) :) hahah.

Yes yes, I'm in quite a good mood, apparently. :)
Hope you are too!

2009-01-22T00:27:00.003+08:00

Been thinking a lot lately. A lot about the past. The near past, the distant past, the ancient past. Tried to recall if there were any differences between the me now, and the me then. Have my thinking changed? My attitude? My habits? Have I changed?

There was a once upon a time where I used to hate bitter gourd SO much. Seriously. But now, I've somehow accepted it. No longer resisted it. I eat bitter gourd. In fact, I just ate them today.

There was another once upon a time where I lost faith in human beings in general. I thought the human race was evil, selfish, inhumane (ironically). But now, I believe in Man. I believe that all human beings are good to begin with. Its the circumstances and environment that sometimes drive us to a dead end. Even if this sounds naive, I believe everyone can be good, if given a chance.

Remember I used to talk about karma? I still believe in it now. Good and bad karma. They exist. Really. So whatever I do, I always keep that in mind. "Do good and receive good." "Do unto others what you would want others to do unto you." Sounds familiar?

Right. This entry doesn't make much sense, does it? I totally feel like I'm just rambling.

Most memories fade with time. But somethings.. somethings you just don't forget.

2009-01-18T00:00:00.002+08:00

Wow.
I chanced upon a blog I shouldn't have had today.
It was...... mind blowing.
Too much details.
Details that made me think a lot.
Feeling tired now just from reading.

Such an amazing thing the internet is.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Took off the cast on Thursday.
Doctor says my leg's healing well :)
But still can't walk soon.
12 more weeks, at least.
That's 3 months.
And there's still the metal screw to take out before that.

My scar's gonna be cool. haha.
At least, that's what I choose to believe. heh.
But well.. You gain some, you lose some.
That's just how life goes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Its 18th today :)

2009-01-14T17:15:00.002+08:00

Quite an eventful week for me, considering I haven't been able to do much.

Monday;
played mahjong with my brother and his two friends, Justin and Kian Siong, after sooooo long. Helped me pass time quite quickly. :)

Tuesday;
Went to watch Red Cliff at J8 with my brother, Justin and Kian Siong again. Yes, I went to the movie theatre in crutches. How cool is that. :) Thanks Justin for driving us there and back. Thanks kor for bringing me there. Thanks Kian Siong for buying my dinner for me. :) Its been a looooong time (again) since I last watched a movie in the cinema.

Today;
Baked. :) Without the electric mixer which chose to spoil when I barely started to mix. But the cake turned out fine, fortunately. :) My arms were pumped from manually mixing.

Tomorrow;
Medical review. Seriously hope the doctor will say the wound is healing well and everything's fine. Please don't let shit happen again.

I am thinking of taking up Japanese. Anyone who happens to know the language (or know of someone who knows the language) and is interested in earning some money from teaching me the basics at my place? Do let me know. Thank you. :)

Also, anyone looking for a Math tutor (Primary or Secondary, E and A math) who is willing to drop by my place to let me teach? Rates can be discussed, since its at my place rather than the tutee's place. Again, do let me know. Thank you. :)

2009-01-11T21:38:00.004+08:00

Psssst.

No one said its gonna be easy.
It isn't going to be.
It is, however, going to be a struggle.
It is, however, going to be a test of your resilience.

But you are not going to lose hope;
Not going to hate yourself;
Not going to feel useless;
Not going to blame yourself for all that has happened.
Things happen, but you are not to be blamed for all of them.

Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Instead, remember the help you've asked for.
Return them one by one when you can,
and give more than how much you have received.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help;
It doesn't equate to being useless.
What is wrong, is asking for help and taking them for granted.
So do not not take those things for granted.

Don't disappoint yourself.
Don't disappoint those who believe in you.
Don't let them down.
Hang in there.
You will get pass all these in no time.
Run this race bravely.
Don't give up before reaching the finishing line.

Falling down doesn't make you a failure.
Staying down does.

You, are no where near a failure.
Keep it going.

2009-01-09T21:33:00.001+08:00

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away

[Chorus:]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway

[Chorus]

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

2009-01-05T17:41:00.002+08:00

OMG! I've been gorging food down my stomach! zzz.

I'm going to be so unhealthy. Seriously.
Oh, no. I am already unhealthy. This is so sinful. T_T

Updates:
1) My leg's feeling a lot better. A lot less painful. :)
2) I'm hook on Grey's Anatomy. Really nice. haha.
3) I'm gonna defer my studies for one Semester and will be resuming in August. So if you don't see me in school, you know why. Have a great Semester ahead! :)

2009-01-02T11:40:00.005+08:00

This year's different. Haven't really thought of New Year Resolutions. Don't really see the need to this year. Because even if I did all the things I resolve to, I wouldn't get what I deserve to.
Life's unfair, and I'm accepting all of it.

So I was in the hospital for three days. Never thought that would happen to me. I always told myself I will never want to stay in the hospital. Its too scary, too quiet, too lonely for me. Turned out that it wasn't quiet because nurses walked in and out every hour. Turned out it wasn't lonely because I knew my 4 other room mates were suffering in one way or another too.

But it was, indeed, scary. I couldn't remember anything about the operation process at all. Anesthesia took effect within seconds. But I remember how the doctors were talking about my case, as I slowly went into sleep. When I was awake, the excruciating pain nearly killed me. I could feel the wound even though it had dressing. I couldn't breathe properly and had to rely on the oxygen tube. Nurses told me not to cry, but it seemed I wasn't the one controlling my tears. I had tons of pain killers, morphine, until the nurses told me that they cannot give me too much as it would affect my breathing. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. I was back in my ward. The whole night was dreamy and blurry due to the effects of the anesthesia. I was discharge the next day, glad that it was all over.

I've been through so much in mere two weeks. Quite unbelievable, even to me. Sometimes, I'd wake up in the middle of the night wondering if all these are real, or is it just a nightmare. From a sprain, to a fracture, to ligament tear, two fractures and slight dislocation. hah. My threshold of pain is really quite high.

*pat on the back* Things will get better, Shalynn. Can't get any worse, can they?

2009-01-01T13:54:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year 2009! :) :)

Cheers to a new year.

Things will be better.

2008-12-31T20:51:00.001+08:00

Shit happens.

Last day of 2008 - it seems so ordinary to me.

2008-12-28T21:19:00.003+08:00

I'm so bored.... zzz

Bored x1,000,000

2008-12-28T13:00:00.004+08:00

Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you all so much! :)

So many many thanks to say! UMC, TJCCC, Li Yong, Si Lin, my parents, Terence blah blah blah! Thank you, again! :) :)

After posing for 15 minutes? haha.

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Year end is always a time of thoughts. Can't stop thinking about things. Its like a game of chess - constantly thinking about your next move and how your next move will affect the following moves. Its quite tiring, but I just can't stop myself from thinking. Its a tough choice, isn't it? I really don't know what I should do. I really don't know if its worth it.

To my friends, I know many of you have questions you might want to ask me. I don't have any definite answers yet. But the following paragraphs you are going to read are my dilemma now. Maybe after reading, you'll have a better understanding of what I'm going through?

Entering TJCCC was one of the best things that happened to me during JC. But I've got to admit, I told myself I would stop climbing after A levels. Somehow, starting to climb again changed my mind. The past months in UMC, I got to know SO many friends. I was really motivated. I trained hard to get back my physical strength. My 4 pull-ups from nothing, my fear of lead climbing, trainings to enable me to do harder routes once again.. I just couldn't stop climbing. I love this sport.

All of a sudden, just two days changed everything. I was at camp 5 when the first aid person told me it was just a sprain. I did not think much about it. That probably wouldn't change anything much. Then my whole bag went missing. I wonder if its a joke. Heaven seemed to be sending me a message - a very obvious message - stop climbing, even your climbing shoes, chalk bag, harness are gone. Just stop.

I came back to Singapore devastated. Really. It wasn't easy to pick myself up again. The fracture, troubling my parents, boyfriend, and all of you who helped me one way or another. I felt useless. But I know nothing will change, so I moved on.

Then I started to think about climbing. Should I continue? All those hard training and suddenly all gone.. Is it worth it? But I'm afraid, very afraid. What if the next time its worse than a fracture? It used to be just sprains. What if I have to cause my parents to worry again? Its not just about me, you know?

And I've got a secret. I've got a phobia from that fall at camp 5. That fall was different from my previous falls. I felt some bone move. I swear. That's why I told the first aid person it felt different from my previous sprains. Its a feeling that's still haunting me. For a split second I really felt no pain. But the supposedly professional first aid person said it was just a sprain, so I just accepted that. But I was scared.. and I still am. Its a feeling I wish I never had to experience at all.

If you ask me whether I still want to climb, my answer is yes. Of course I want. I really love climbing. But whether I will.. that does not solely depend on me. My decision will affect people who care for me. And for now, I don't wish to think about it yet. Just want my ankle to heal fast.

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Hope it was not too long for you to read. Just some of my thoughts. But I'm actually quite fine and happy now. :) Thank you all who came to visit me! Enjoy the last few days of 2008. :D

2008-12-26T12:15:00.000+08:00

Just for thoughts :)
(Will take some time reading)

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Life and How to Survive it (By Adrian Tan)

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It's a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you've already won her heart, you don't need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You're done learning.

You've probably been told the big lie that 'Learning is a lifelong process' and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters' degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don't you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they're wrong.

The bad news is that you don't need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You're in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I'm here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There's very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you'll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper. Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they're 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn't meet their life expectancy.

I'm here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy. After all, it's calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.
If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don't need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life's a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don't expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free. The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable. Work kills. The Japanese have a term 'Karoshi', which means death from overwork. That's the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there's nothing left.

A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There's a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are 'making a living'. No, they're not. They're dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan 'Arbeit macht frei' was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn't do that, I would've been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction - probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don't imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I'll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession.
Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don't, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I'm not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror. I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It's not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it's often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one's own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role.

There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn't say 'be loved'. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone. Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation.

That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We've taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work - the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn't happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart. You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You're going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there's no life expectancy

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Happy Boxing Day!

Happy Birthday, Si Lin! :)

2008-12-25T01:55:00.005+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! :D

May Santa grant your wishes this year! :)

2008-12-23T20:31:00.008+08:00

You know.. I was like a very normal civilian today. I went out, I took the public transport, I was on the MRT with so many other people, I ordered my own food, et cetera. All these, I did. Just that today, unlike all my 19 years of life, I was on crutches. Its funny how we never notice such people around. People who need to struggle to move around. Now that I am struggling, I feel these people. Its not easy, indeed. My cousin told me people were all looking at me. But to me, its okay. They can look all they want and I won't blame them. How often do you see people on crutches on the streets, ya? And I really do wonder if I'll be able to make it to Boon Lay when school starts.

Don't worry. I am not self-wallowing. Definitely not. Instead, I feel that this whole thing made me a lot stronger. Though there will probably be major changes in my life and lifestyle, I guess its fine. Everything will be fine as long as I have people who love and care for me. Like you. :)

Stay over at my place yesterday was really fun. Thanks Si Lin and Li Yong for making my day, and also for uncle who taught us how to make yummy cookies. :) :) Love my cousin's company too. Bubbly little cousin.

Its these little things in life that makes you feel loved and belonged.

Camwhoring! :) :)

Thanks my 2 dearies!! <3

2008-12-19T23:04:00.009+08:00

Thinking about what I should write in this space for a long time.

Dear friends out there,

Shalynn fractured her ankle. She will probably go MIA for some time because she can't walk for the next two to three months without the help of her new found best friend - crutches.

Shalynn lost SO many important things and she will need a lot of time to get them back. Please forgive her if she can't make time to go out. She doesn't want to be a burden, walking around with crutches either.

Shalynn is emotionally stable. She thought through everything already and she's perfectly normal now. Please do not worry about her too much. She will get pass this period of life. At least, that's what she is thinking now.

Shalynn wants to thank all of you who have helped her one way or another so far. Special thanks to those who went on her trip with her, her parents and her boyfriend and her two best friends.

Shalynn wants to tell her brother that she misses him, but please don't worry about her because she is in good care. Have fun in Sydney. Loves.

Lastly, even though Shalynn can't go out, she would be more than happy to invite you over if you don't mind. She will probably be bored dead at home, apart from retrieving all lost things.

<3, your silly friend

What can I say?
Life hit me again.
Really hard, really bad.

I just got so many sorry and thank you to say.
But.. was it just about my luck?
I keep thinking about "what ifs".
Yet I know I can't turn back time.

Its a lesson I would like to think.
A really bad lesson.
TWO very bad lessons.
Murphy's Law took place once again.

And I really believed in good karma.

Thank you for being there.

2008-12-13T17:17:00.003+08:00

Highlights of the week!

1) Played basketball after 6824783 years!
Woohoo~ fun!

2) My room is done!
YAY! Nicely packed.

3) Climbed with Beatrix on Thursday.
Woah. Idol leh. Motivates me. :D :D

4) Leaving for Malaysia tomorrow!
Whee~ Damai and Camp 5 here I come!

Yay yay! Exciting!
Looking forward to Christmas too! :)
Just don't want school to start. Dreading it.

Alright. Update again when I'm back. Meanwhile, all you people take care! :D

Cheers`

2008-12-10T13:08:00.002+08:00

You know I am so bored lately that I started to play my brother's Nintendo DS and I saw Pokemon Pearl. So ya. I'm playing that now. LOL. Okay, I know its like a childish game right. But, when you're really bored, you can't be bothered by what's childish and what's not. At least, it keeps me entertained. :D

And guess what? I was on the train on my way home from my dental appointment just now when a boy came to sit beside me and asked "you play pokemon too?". ZOMG. He's 9 years old. Quite cute. And he started to talk to me about Pokemon. HAHA okay, I was quite embarrassed. Then he asked "can I try?". So I passed him the DS and he started playing for a while, until I had to alight. Haha. how cute. Erm, if you are wondering, YES, I am aware that he's 9 and he's playing Pokemon but I'm 19 and I am playing it too. T_T

Another thing that caught my attention was that he was travelling alone. Hmm.. 9 years old only. And he told me that he had to go to 3 places. Kovan, Ang Mo Kio and Bukit Timah. I asked him why and he just shrugged his shoulders. He looked quite sad then. But when he started to play, his smile came back. Such an independent young boy. And I just envy little kids who can forget their troubles within a minute. How nice and carefree. But I really wonder why he had to travel alone. May he be safe and happy always.

It just hit me that this holiday is UBER short! :( :(

2008-12-09T22:55:00.001+08:00

RAH!!!

Its starting ALL OVER AGAIN!

Damn it.

2008-12-08T16:01:00.003+08:00

All time favourite (:

My bro's enjoying himself in Australia (I hope). I'm dead envious. Alright, at least it makes me feel good that I am enjoying myself here without any stress or (major) trouble. Savouring every minute of this carefree feeling (:

I wanna go to Sentosa! Miss the sun! :D
Li Yong and Si Lin! Do you guys wanna go? (:
Or maybe the UMC peeps again. Beach volleyball! Whee~

Life without my laptop is horrible! I feel so restricted. zzz. Finally sending it to the hospital tomorrow. Phew.

Sometimes I wonder if I really miss some things, or are they just habits - Habits that die hard. But somehow.. I'm losing it. And sadly, it ain't really affecting me. That's the kind of magic time does. Perhaps.. normal?

Do you remember how it feels? Because if you don't, I feel sorry for you.

*close your eyes and make a wish*

2008-12-05T23:53:00.001+08:00

Bro's heading off to Sydney Australia tomorrow for his one month summer exchange at the University of New South Wales.

How much I envy him.

BON VOYAGE! :D

Will be missing your presence at home :)

Play web cam!! HAHAHA. After I get my laptop cured. zzz.

*|| Lost In A Labyrinth ||*

The 8 Monkeys

"Homeless Korean dies

with 100,000 dollars in bank

|| Lost In A Labyrinth ||